COVID-19 Detour with Debbie

Remember that word, ‘choice’ in the earlier episodes? Well, here it is again, we can choose to allow isolation to defeat us, or we can choose to rise above it, in it and through it. These are my thoughts around embracing this challenge:

Given that our lives are generally go, go, go, with a focus on faster, higher, further, more, more and more, it is rare that one is forced to stay at home, get off the hamster wheel, bow out of the rat race and switch off the automatic pilot. This isolation, therefore, for many of us may feel like a blessing in disguise but for others a curse.  When one is relentlessly pursuing a goal, isolation because of Covid19 can be hugely frustrating and disappointing. The first thoughts that come to mind for many athletes, are around training, fitness, shape, refocussing, build up to the Games and filling their days.  We are so programmed to do, that the thought of not ‘doing’ and not knowing is completely terrifying.  

During the first few days stuck at home we busy ourselves with catching up with all the things we have been meaning to do for the last year e.g. admin, sorting out the cupboards, putting all the old, unused clothes and shoes aside for charity, disposing of the expired spices and non-perishables, servicing the bicycles, cleaning the car – the list is endless. We make those phone calls to family and friends we had been meaning to call but were far too busy to do so. We read the books and journal articles we had stacked away for a rainy day. We follow our planned structured programmes and yet slowly but surely, some of us start feeling restless, trapped, frustrated and miserable. People around us are on-edge, jittery and worried, the apartment feels like it is slowly closing in on us and our moods and sense of humour start going south.

One reason we may start feeling so miserable, angry and frustrated with this isolation may be that we do not know how to just be with whatever is, in the present moment. We spend most of our lives in the ‘doing’ mode and rarely ever slow down enough to appreciate the ‘being’ mode. We have forgotten how to be because being, unless it is being busy, is sometimes perceived as lazy, unmotivated or slack. ‘Doing’ in sport, academia and business is also applauded and rewarded and ultimately keeps us striving. However, I am sure you will agree, it often comes at a huge cost. Now I am not for one minute suggesting you stop ‘doing’ because doing your job/work (whatever this means to you) may be your only means of survival. What I am suggesting though is that there are other ways of ‘doing’ and ‘being’ in the world. Learning how to be, hugely impacts ‘doing’ in ways you cannot begin to imagine – I speak from experience. By merely changing my ‘being’ I have become more centred, open, curious, awake, efficient and effective in my daily life and in my ‘doing’.

Isolation due to the spread of the Coronavirus brings with it some wonderful opportunities, it gives us time to pause and reflect. It gives us a once in a life-time chance to step off the hamster wheel and put the brakes on our automatic pilot. It reminds us that we can choose to make ourselves miserable by desperately trying to kick start the automatic pilot gain or that we can take the time to become reacquainted with the ‘being’ mode of life - we are after all human beings not human doings.

One way to rediscover the being mode, is to reconnect with ourselves - we can do this through the practice of mindfulness. Mindfulness means intentionally, paying attention to the present moment (the moment can be pleasant, unpleasant or neutral), in a kind, compassionate and non-judgemental way. Mindfulness teaches us awareness, it teaches us to sustain attention and shift attention, it teaches us awareness of our thoughts, feelings and sensations. When we are in touch with our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensation we are more easily able to register distress signals, make sense of them and consequently instead of reacting to situations, we can respond in an informed and appropriate way.

We can start our mindfulness journey by getting in touch with our senses through bringing awareness to the senses of taste, hearing, smell, seeing and touch. If sight or hearing is not possible for you, focus on the other senses.  

You may wish to try the following: intentionally waking up early to watch the sun rise - there is nothing more exhilarating and uplifting than intentionally welcoming in the day.

Get out of bed and stand at an open window or door or go outside, if you can. Take a few deep breaths, fill your lungs with the morning air and when you are ready to do so, take a moment to, just where you are standing, settle and ground yourself in the moment, bring your awareness to your feet making contact with the floor, notice the pressure, the texture, the temperature. When you are ready, shift your awareness to your posture, notice whether it is dignified, upright. Notice the sensation of just standing, bringing awareness to the whole body, it’s energy and status.  No need to adjust anything, simply bring a gentle awareness and curiosity to the experience of just being, in this moment, in a kind, compassionate, non-judgemental way.

As night turns into day bring your awareness to the wonders of sight. Gazing into the distance, notice colours and textures on the horizon, notice the landscape, the presence of clouds or the moon in the sky – notice as things shift and change moment by moment.   No need for interpretation or trying to make sense of anything or your experience, simply bring awareness to the sensation of sight.  When you are ready, shift the spotlight of attention to noticing sound or the absence of it. Notice the silence or perhaps the sounds in the distance or close by, notice the sounds of the birds, dogs barking, the wind in the trees, the cars, trucks or trains. Allow yourself to rest in the incredible sensation of hearing. Next, shift the spotlight of attention to sensing smell. Notice the odours in the air – notice the freshness of the morning, the smell of the neighbours’ breakfast, the scent from the family bathroom or the staleness of the garbage bins left outside – simply notice any and all sensations of smell. When it is comfortable for you, shift the focus of your attention to the sensation of taste. Notice this experience whether pleasant, unpleasant or neutral, notice any after taste from the early morning coffee, the toothpaste or the garlic from last night’s meal. Simply register the sensation, without getting caught up in any thoughts around the taste experience. Lastly, bring your awareness to the sensation of touch - notice the warmth of the sun on your skin or the temperature of the surrounding air, the cool breeze or the bite of the wind, the texture of the fabric of your clothes against your skin – and simply allow yourself to rest in awareness of the sensation of touch, again, without any need to unpack the experience.

Notice the experience of coming home to your senses and this profound way of honouring the gift of direct sensory contact with yourself and the world. When we create a space where we intuitively can connect with our inner and outer worlds, we create an opportunity to engage with ourselves and subsequently others in a different and more meaningful way. Learning to engage with ourselves and others in a more meaningful way will go a long way to lifting our isolation burden. The change starts with each one of us - we can carry on running from ourselves or we can choose to stop, ‘be’ and reconnect with ourselves.

Be thankful; Be kind; Be compassionate

Be mindful

Image Source: Dr Debbie Alexander